You Afraid of Pickles?
by Purple Cow Crayons
Summary: I'm not that great at summaries, but all I need to say is a truth or dare, no grownups!
1. Chapter 1

**Title: You Afraid of Pickles?**

**I don't get the title either.**

**All Vamps.**

**Thoughts are in **_**bold italics**__._** Kay?**

**This is my 1****st**** story, so don't be mean!**

**BPOV:**I was over at Edward's playing cards with Emmet and Rosalie when suddenly Alice burst through the front door screaming. I looked over at Edward for an explanation. He just looked at me and sighed. Uh-oh.

"WE ARE GOING TO PLAY A GAME!" screamed Alice. Ohh, shit.

Emmet shot out of his seat. "Truth or DARE!"

"Emmet!" Alice whined. "You ruined it!!"

"Sowwy," said Emmet, using puppy face.

"Uhh, whatevs. So, let's PLAY! Who first? Emmet?"

Emmet got up again. "YES! YES! YES! Y-"his face was covered by Edwards's hand.

"Fine," said Edward, "let's get this over with."

We all got into a circle with Emmet next to Rose, Jasper next to Alice, and Edward next to me.

"So, Edward," began Emmet, "truth or dare?"

**EdPOV:** Dammit, he was blocking his mind. Uhh, he was singing 'Fergalicious' in his head. That friggin' gay.

"Truth, I guess."

_**Aww, Edward's a wuss! Edward is a wuss! Edward is a wuss! Edward is a wuss! Edward is a-**_

"Fine you faggot! Dare then!"

"Heheheheheh!" cackles Emmet. "Edward, I dare you to…."

That's when he opened his mind. Ohh shit.

"Go out with Eric Yorkie! You know the kid from High School!"

"You're perverted!" Everyone yelled.

"Whatever. Think what you want. He still has to go out with him," stated Emmet.

**EmPOV **_**Mwahahahaahah! Edward never saw that coming! I should do this for a living!**_ _**Hey, why is Edward looking at me like that? Uh-oh. You f'in fag! Get out of my head! *Listen up y'all cuz this is it the beat that I'm banging is delicious…***_

"Fine, I'll go. C'mon Bella, let's get in the Volvo. The rest of you can follow, I guess," said Edward.

"Nice! Rosalie, grab the video camera. I want this on tape for the next Embarrass Edward day," Alice seemed so excited.

Rose, Alice, Jasper and I all climbed into my Jeep and followed Edward's silver Volvo. We pulled up to Eric's house and Edward pulled into the driveway as Bella and the rest of us climbed behind the bushes, setting up the camera. Edward walked up the drive to the front door. Before he rang the bell, he looked behind him trying to find us.

**EdPOV **I hate this day. I hate this dare. To sum it up, I hate Emmet. He is going to pay. Right after I rang the bell, Eric came to the door. First, he looked surprised, then wary, last, waits, and was that, lust?! I had to get this over with, and fast.

"Hey, Eric. I was wondering if you wanted to go out." I said in a rush. He looked very surprised.

"Sure, I guess. I never thought you were gay, too, Edward. I thought you were still with Bella," wow, Yorkie is a freak.

Uhh, looked like I had to lie now. "Um, yeah, Bella and I didn't work out, and then I realized it was because I'm gay."

Eric looked elated. "So, um, what time are you going to pick me up? Say, sevenish?" I must hate this kid.

"Yeah, sure, okay." I could hear my family over by the bushes, laughing quietly but still laughing.

I ran over to them, grabbed Bella, and kissed her. God I needed that.

"Can we please go home? I hate this place, and that kid."

"Yep, let's boogie." Man, that guy is uber gay.

**RPOV **Okay, we were back at the house and it was Edward's turn. I wonder who he'll pick. Obvious, isn't it?

"Rosalie," here we go, "truth or dare?"

"Well, _I _sure don't want to go out with and uber gay kid, so truth." It can't be that bad, right?

"Rosalie, have you ever… thought about me or Jasper, ya know, naked?" Umm, what?!

"Mmhh, yes, mmhh." I mumbled. Of course he would catch that.

"Oh really when?"

"Well, when I first saw Edward, and when I could hear Alice and Jasper, ya know…" Alice and Bella gave me shocked/disgusted/angry faces. Whatever.

"Okay, my turn," I said, trying to change the subject. "Umm, Bella, truth or dare?"

"Hard choice," Edward whispered into her ear. "But I'll have to go with truth."

"Ha ha ha! Yes! Perfect! Hey Bella, that last truth made me wonder, have you ever thought about _Alice_ naked?"

Bella went deep red. This was gonna be good.

"Well, umm, yes, but, umm," everyone gave her shocked looks, especially Alice and Jasper.

"Really, when?" This was getting good.

"Only once," she said, trying to get through to Alice. "When I first moved here and Ali and I were bffs and she changed in front of me…." Ohh, wow.

Like me, she quickly changed the subject. "Jasper, truth or dare?"

**BPOV** "Dare." Shoot, I had no dares. I had a perfect truth, though. I guess I'll have to store the fantasy thing for later games.

"Umm, okay…" Edward leaned towards me and said, "Different emotions to everyone." Hey, that's not bad.

"Jasper, I dare you to… give everyone a different emotion, but you can't tell them what their emotion is. Kay?"

"Sure, I guess." I could see he wasn't expecting this.

"So, whenever you're ready, I guess."

"Alice, truth or dare?"

"Dare," said Alice, grinning evilly. That's when everything went haywire.

**3****rd**** PERSON POV **Alice got a glazed over look in her eyes, then looked at Jasper hungrily. She lunged at him. Feeling the lust coming off of her, they started to kiss ferociously. Emmet stood up and danced around the room singing the care bear song. Um, gay much? Rosalie looked completely grossed out by him. Edward ran into the bathroom, pulled out the black makeup and put it all over his face. Bella looked at him and started bushing. Typical Bella.

**APOV** Umm, wow. Just wow. "That was odd, but kinda fun."

"Yeah, it was fun," said Jasper. "But you still have to do your dare, Ali-pooh."

"Okay, babe. What is it?"

"Alice, you're going to be upset…" that's when I saw it.

"JASPER I'M GONNA KILL YOU! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY CLOTHES!"This man is going to die the next chance I get to kill him.

"Alice, sweetie, calm down. All you need to do is pick 2 shirts, 2 skirts, 2 pants, and 3 pairs of shoes to burn. That's it, okay?"

"Why 3 pairs?"

"Because you love your Jimmy Choos more than me." It was true.

"Fine. Give me ten minutes. They'll be gone by then."

**JPOV **Exactly ten minutes later, Alice came into the room with soot and runny makeup on her face. She had been crying. Good. That's what she gets for loving her Jimmy Choos more than me. Humph.

"The deed is done. 2 shirts, 2 skirts, 2 pants, and 3 pairs of shoes gone, all gone. Happy, you big jerk?!"

Um, emotional much?

"Now it's my turn," she turned and grinned evilly at Emmet. I had to admit, I felt bad for the poor guy.

"Emmet, truth or dare?"

"Umm, gulp, dare?" He didn't want to look like a wimp, but man the guy picked completely wrong.

"Emmet, you are going to regret that. You have to … go to a gay bar and sing 'its rainin' men'!" Poor dude. He looked thoroughly shocked.

"No. No. NO way Alice. You're crazy. You must be crazy to think I'm gonna do _that_!" Emmet was practically screaming at her now.

"But, Emmet, you can do it later. Because Edward has to go on his date."

**EdPOV **Dammit. I was sure they had forgotten by now. I know the author did. Oh well. At least part of the dare wasn't being dressed by Rosalie and Alice. _That_ would be worse than the date. God, why couldn't I have picked truth?! I hate this friggin dare! Have to get on with it, though.

"Do I really have to do this? I don't even know where to go on a 'gay' date!?"

"Edward, take him to a movie, jeez no reason to get all hyper about it." While Alice said that, Jasper sent waves of calm through me.

"Fine. That's good. What movie though?"

"Umm, what about… 'Borat'? I hear it's supposed to be really funny!"

**ErPOV (Eric pov) **Edward's car pulled up into my driveway. He got out and walked up towards my door. Before he rang the bell I pulled it open and put on my best howdy-doo smile. He looked disgusted, and then quickly changed it to excite. Hmm, odd. Whatevs.

"Hi Edward, let's go!" Man, I sounded like a hyper 5-year old. Edward started to laugh. Odd much?

"'Kay, Eric. Get in my car. We're going to a movie, okay?"

"Sure. Which one?"

"Borat."

"Umm, okay…"

"You've seen it haven't you?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"That's cool. I haven't seen it and I already bought the tickets. Is that okay?"

"Sure, sure. Let's go now."

**EdPOV After movie **We were standing on Eric's doorstep. I suppose this is when I tell him it was a dare. Thank _GAWD!_ I hated that movie, and that kid. I just wanted to get this over with.

"Eric, listen, I have to tell you something. This was all a-"And then he attacked me with his lips. EWW!!! Pushing him off me screamed, "GET OFF YOU FUKIN PERV! THIS WAS ALL A DARE! THAT WAS WHAT I NEEDED TO TELL YOU BEFORE YOU ATTAKCED ME!!"

Then Eric ran into his house crying. Thank goodness. And with that, I ran back home to get on with Emmet's dare. I burst into the house.

"Finally it's over with. And don't even ask about it, Alice. All I'll say is it was awful!"

"Don't need to Eddie-boy. We got it all on tape. Even the attempted kiss!"

_**While Edward tries to kill Alice, Emmet, Jasper, and Rosalie, we'll move onto Emmet's dare**_

**JPOV **We arrived at the club about an hour after Edward pumbled us. Alice and Rose had dressed Emmet up in wicked gay outfit consisting of: skinny grey jeans, a tight fitting tan sweater and a handbag. Yes, a handbag, with a microphone in it. Edward starting laughing out loud along with me, Alice, Rose and Bella.

We walked in and signed Emmet up for the stage. He was 13th on the list. After forever of hearing awful singers pretend they can sing, Emmet was up. He got up on stage and everyone started whooping and hollering at him. Can you say eww? As soon as all the commotion stopped, he started to sing.

**Humidity is rising  
Barometer's getting low  
According to our sources  
The street's the place to go  
Cause' tonight for the first time  
Just about half past ten  
For the first time in history  
It's gonna start raining men  
It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen  
It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen  
Humidity is rising  
Barometer's getting low  
According to our sources  
The street's the place to go  
Cause' tonight for the first time  
Just about half past ten  
For the first time in history  
It's gonna start rainin men  
It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen  
I'm gonna go out  
I'm gonna let myself get  
Absolutely soaking wet  
It's rainin men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Every special men  
Tall blonde dark and lean  
Rough and tough and strong and mean  
God bless Mother Nature  
She's a single woman too  
She took over heaven  
And she did what she had to do  
She fought every Angel  
To rearranged the sky  
So that each and every woman  
Could find the perfect guy  
It's raining men  
Don't get yourself Weather Girls  
I know you want to  
I feel stormy weather moving in  
About to begin  
Hear the thunder  
Don't you loose your head  
Rip off the roof and stay in bed  
(Rip off the roof and stay)  
It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen  
**

OMG THAT WAS HILARIOUS! EMMET CANNOT SING FOR HIS LIFE, BUT EVERYONE LOVED HIM!

**EdPOV** Once we got home, we all started to laugh, even Emmet.

"Well, that was a nice way to end a truth or dare."

"Yeah, wasn't it?" Alice started to laugh along with us.


	2. Authors Note

**AN:**

**Sorry people probably not gonna do another chappy on this one. Buuut, check out my other stories. Im workin very hard so you guys have this, so no naggingz, okay? Good. See yazzz…….**


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